wrender:

Heavy is the chest that wears the tits or whatever

dankmemeuniversity:

disregardcanon:

headspace-hotel:

derinthescarletpescatarian:

derinthescarletpescatarian:

derinthescarletpescatarian:

Toddler accidentally cursed himself into an identity crisis today.

He’s been crossing stuff out with chalk. He asked me to write his name for him, crossed it out, and had a panicked meltdown because he thought it meant he didn’t exist any more.

Every hour or so he asks me “am I [his name?]” and wants reassuring hugs.

I’m enjoying the implication that he was perfectly delighted with arbitrarily erasing things from existence until it affected him personally

toddler light yagami

ratanarchist:

bo burnham’s new special is like. oh hi i’m a funny white boy singing silly little songs. btw our society is built on exploitation and violence. haha sexting still rules though. tits! human relationships have been commodified by tech companies and everything under late capitalism is an empty performance. i’m depressed btw. sometimes it’s funny though! here’s some synth pop. the world is fucking ending and a part of me wants it to. i am insane. i am falling apart. [audience laughter] [cheering]

lynati:

fozmeadows:

ink-phoenix:

lordnot:

dongcroncher:

“C'mon Olympians it’s bedtime, time to go to your anti fuck beds!”

Between this and the decision not to offer condoms, it’s fascinating to see how the American Christian Right has managed to convince the world to ignore statistics and believe that you can actually get people to be abstinent by withholding supplies.

Hopefully no one throws out their back or cracks their head open in the shower.

Lol like the most physically gifted people in the world dont know how to have sex against a wall.

mayhap they will even discover a radical new solution called “putting the mattress on the floor and fucking with condoms they bought themselves”

“-it breaks in any sudden movement”  The sex thing aside, isn’t it rather dumb to risk that your athletes aren’t going to be as well-rested as possible the nights before their competitions because, say, they turned over in the middle of the night too fast and were woken up by their bed falling apart? Or couldn’t fall asleep in the first place because of a lingering concern about that very thing?

bogleech:

ayeforscotland:

Oh no, we just couldn’t have that now, could we?

Literally should be the point of renewable energy. The point of society in general should be to make as many things cheaper or free as possible.

funnytwittertweets:

loathsome:

i try to explain to light yagami the economic inequality that pushes people into crime and that killing isolated evildoers will do nothing because the systems in place will keep creating criminals and when he gets home he makes me die from a bowel explosion